Today is Riley's due date ... but still no Riley. I must be honest and say - although I have no reason to have felt this way - I thought through this entire pregnancy that I would never see the due date and that Riley would arrive early. I should be thankful that she is incubating this long - every extra day in the womb is an extra day of strength. My sister-in-law gave birth to the triplets at 32 weeks (30 weeks gestation) and she reminds me that they would have given anything for the girls to have gone full-term, although - thank God - they are all healthy and well.
However I woke up this morning feeling defeated - again. I just keep having this feeling that if I go into labor on my own, it will happen at night. But my chances for a November baby are slipping away very quickly - just 13 hours left for that chance. I have my 40-week OB appt at 9:45am tomorrow morning and I assume that while I am there, Dr. B will schedule me to be induced later in the week. I wonder if we'll be given the choice of the day. To me, that seems like a big responsibility. That would me that we - not God - would be determining her birthday. That just doesn't feel right. I just pray that Dr. B is thinking in the best interest of Riley - which I trust he is. I would much rather go into labor on my own and enjoy that entire experience instead of knowing that we are to arrive at the hospital at "x hour" to get things moving on the birth of our daughter. This shocks me, knowing what an extreme planner and control freak I am - this time, I don't want control.
Regardless of when or how she arrives, we just want her to be healthy - that is what it all boils down to at the end of the day.